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From: Different Andrew
Date: 12/28/2003
Time: 2:20:23 AM
Remote Name: 24.217.145.161
I cannot help but scoff at the appallingly self centered attitude of "cancer patient". The individual professed that hair loss is a superficial thing and as such should be dismissed as insignificant. The unfortunate truth however is that life is about more than having a pulse; the minutiae of how it is lived matter every bit as much as its presence. Cancer patients, unfortunate as they may be, face support for their plight. They are "understood" by friends and family, receive attention and pity, a social network that understands them before, during and after the trials of cancer. I know this for a fact as I was misdiagnosed with leukemia shortly before I began to experience male pattern baldness. An unusual coincidence, but one that puts me at a unique vantage to comment on your complaint.
Yes, hair loss is a "superficial problem", but it is a superficial problem that leaves its victims socially and emotionally isolated. It diminishes income capacity and prevents its victims from finding true love. I, for instance, am gay. The stereotypes are true, gay men are horribly shallow, and becuase of this, I have not had a date, not so much as a single person react to me as if they find me attractive, in over two years. I have not TOUCHED a human being in two years. I have not hugged, shook hands with, or even smiled informally at another person. I am twenty two years old, and for all intents and purposes, I am not fully human. My day's are filled with desperate attempts to avoid seeing myself in the mirror. The worst part of my morning is seeing my reflection in glass doors of large buildings. You talk about the difficulty of dying, and I certainly empathize, but try understand that many of us have good reason to feel that all that is worth living for has been taken from us.
At 22, with moderate hair loss, I am not faced with the prospect of "getting better". There is no hope for me, nor is there the promise of oblivion to end this problem. Despite having lived my life in a manner that is almost painfully consistent with "perfection", from a refusal to indulge in the dangers of promiscuous sex, to a childhood sacrificed upon the altar of academics, I am now faced with no future. I will not succeed at my job, as I already look more than a decade older than I am. I will not settle down, as no one wants a bald man, especially gay men. Frankly, everything I've worked for, everything I've spent my entire life living for, has been taken from me.
Many cancer patients are faced with the possibility of death. I understand and feel for them. I am faced with the certainty of dying alone. Please, try to have some empathy.
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